Rebuilding…Mentally

The whole point of this blog, is to be my online journal.  To track my fitness goals, grow spiritually, and update about my novel.  This is suppose to help me become a better writer, because I would be using words everyday, and try to be witty or entertaining enough, that you would follow me.  I haven’t been blogging on my personal or professional blogs, mostly out of laziness.  There is also a part of me that is scared.

You see, I’m a 32 year old divorced guy.  I accept my part in the breakup of my marriage and all the consequences that came with it.  For the past two years, I’ve been trying to pick up the pieces.  Jumping from one relationship to the next, sometimes, from one bed to another.  I don’t like it, but I do, oxymoron, right?  One of the reasons, why I feel I have to be spiritually better, is because I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.  I also don’t want my ex-wife, thinking that I didn’t care, so I try not to have an online presence.  I don’t know how she thinks anymore, we have grown into different people since the divorce.  I don’t ask for sympathy, just understanding.

I will be approaching the second year mark of being divorced in two weeks.  I have to say, that I’m starting to heal, and starting to find out who I really am.  I’ve embraced my artistic side and pursuing a professional degree as both an artist and author.  English isn’t my subject, but I do like to write, and I love creating my own stuff.  To that end, I chosen to move into graphic design.  I found a mentor in Roberto Blake on youtube and bought literature on graphic design.  I’m all in and this represents something that I always wanted to do, but thought I wasn’t skill enough,  good enough, or worried.  I don’t want to look back onmy life and think, “could I have been a designer or animator.”  I’m excited to start a new career, since, I’m having trouble landing a full time teaching position.

Which brings me to my other life goal of being an English Teacher.  I’ve come to terms that, I prefer teaching elementary students.  Key words is I like.  Maybe, things will be different if I become an art teacher, who knows, but right now the plan is to land a teacher assistant position.  The Alternative Route program is good, but we don’t get hands on experience like traditional teachers.  Again, laziness plays a role here too, on my part.   Only, because, I get discourage and I’m used to excelling without trying.

Yes the sins of pride and sloth are major flaws.  Not a good combination, especially if I want to return to the financial lifestyle I once had.  That is why I’m excited about pursuing a new career, learning new and improving skills.

Writing is coming along as well, my self-editing skills are getting better.  I have a schedule that I’m sticking too, so I’m learning time management as a writer and with my graphic design projects, I will be learning to balance it all with teaching.  I like art, not just cartooning, comics, and anime.  Art history has always been an interest of mine and I’m learning there is so much you can do with graphic design.  Maybe, I can get my skills up to become a letterer or colorist with Marvel Comics.

One thing is for sure though, as nervous and excited.  I want to succeed and now that I’m proud of myself physically, and continue to improve spiritually, I feel that mentally, I’m getting back to a good place.  I have to take a page out of the Lion King, and accept that the past can hurt, but you either run or learn from it.  I had no choice, but to learn from it, but I also have to put my trust, my being into God, and “hakuna matata.”

In closing, if you’re still reading, today officially starts my blog on becoming a graphic designer and building on the blocks from my animation, illustration, and writing skills.

Thank you for reading!

Terrio

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